Saturday, August 27, 2011
Well it's finally happened. I now have two kids officially in school. I have been looking forward to this and dreading it at the same time all summer. I have been so excited that Tessa would have Mrs. Ball, the same teacher that Tully had, whom I absolutely adore. I knew that would help her to feel confident and secure. I also knew that she was SO ready for kindergarten and it's challenges. I am thrilled that Tully has Mrs. "M" his teacher of choice and even more thrilled that he will be challenged, have structure and hopeful that his love of learning will continue to grow.
So why was I up at 4:30am the morning that school was to start, tossing and turning? Because they're gone!! I'm not in control! The house was quiet and I didn't know what to do with myself. Nobody was fighting, trying to sneaking sugar cereal or yelling "Mommy!?" at me. I'm not with them to help them make good decisions, tell them to eat all of their lunch, to wash their hands or to be a good friend.
I have to trust that the things I have tried to instill in them these last 5 and 6 years will be enough to carry them through while they are away from me for 5 - 6 hours each day. I want to be there to tell them not to make that mistake, or to be nice to that person, and don't even get me started about my fear of what Tully might hear on the big kid playground! I have to trust that God is taking care of them and continue to teach them the values that are important to our family at home. Phew, feels like a big task!
Oh, and all of the things I thought that I would accomplish at home while they were at school? Um, yeah that hasn't happened yet.
I do have to mention that as a kid I did not like school at all. I am so happy that both kids love school so far! Last year Tully used to be sad that it was the weekend because he just wanted to go to school (we'll see how long that lasts :)
So why was I up at 4:30am the morning that school was to start, tossing and turning? Because they're gone!! I'm not in control! The house was quiet and I didn't know what to do with myself. Nobody was fighting, trying to sneaking sugar cereal or yelling "Mommy!?" at me. I'm not with them to help them make good decisions, tell them to eat all of their lunch, to wash their hands or to be a good friend.
I have to trust that the things I have tried to instill in them these last 5 and 6 years will be enough to carry them through while they are away from me for 5 - 6 hours each day. I want to be there to tell them not to make that mistake, or to be nice to that person, and don't even get me started about my fear of what Tully might hear on the big kid playground! I have to trust that God is taking care of them and continue to teach them the values that are important to our family at home. Phew, feels like a big task!
Oh, and all of the things I thought that I would accomplish at home while they were at school? Um, yeah that hasn't happened yet.
I do have to mention that as a kid I did not like school at all. I am so happy that both kids love school so far! Last year Tully used to be sad that it was the weekend because he just wanted to go to school (we'll see how long that lasts :)
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Perfect Mom Syndrome
I like to look like I have it all together. In my dreams as a young adult before I was married I had a specific idea of what my life would look like. Yes, it included the white picket fence and the well-behaved kids, that always looked cute. I envisioned girls in sundresses with bows in their hair, boys with sandals, hair combed and sly little grins. And me? I was going to be fit, fashionable and a creative mom. Well, 3 kids later, I am far from fit and the things that I think are "fashionable" are things that are comfortable. Workout clothes. And not because I'm working out. Forever 21 doesn't seem to carry my size and I'm finally starting to except that I look better in what I once considered "old lady shorts." I realize now that my kids like to dress themselves, my daughter doesn't want bows in her hair; she wants baseball caps. My son would like to wear the same clothes every day, couldn't care less if they match and has to be reminded constantly to wear underwear. As for the creative mom thing? Well, sometimes I buy them new crayons and throw scraps of paper at them.
All of this is to say that when we arrived in Tahoe for our week of vacation I was working hard to have my act together but our first day at the beach almost sent me into a tailspin. I had already given myself a pep talk about bringing a newborn to the beach. I had told myself I was going to be ok breastfeeding in a baithing suit, the baby would be happy to hang out under the umbrella and he would survive if he got sand in his ears, eyes and mouth. Well, we got to the beach and quickly realized that we had forgotten the umbrella, beach chairs and sand toys. I was down by the water holding our spot while the Clarks, Matt and Susan carried stuff over from the car. The sand was scalding, the kids were begging for rafts, goggles, and buckets. The baby was crying because he wanted to eat, and I was standing there a little stunned. I finally got Beck out of his car seat and covered him with a blanket just as the lady next to us came over and asked if I wanted to borrow one of their towels to make shade for the baby. I must have looked really desperate trying to deal with 5 kids. Most of the stuff made it down to the beach and I took a chair onto the walkway in the shade to feed Beck. I was feeling pretty fragile at that point, wondering how I was going to get through the day when I started to look around the beach. I swear that every Mom there had it all together! Kids in matching bathing suits, bags of perfectly folded towels, UMBRELLAS, adorable sand toys and not to mention perfect bathing suits and cover ups that made them look as though they had never bore a child. The tears started flowing. Now, mind you I knew that I was having a postpartum moment. Jenn and Susan were already on their way to buy an umbrella across the street, the kids had their rafts and goggles and were thrilled, the guys were digging into the pre-made lunch and everyone was happy. But I just couldn't help but wallowing in the not-a-good-enough mom moment. My 'moment' lasted about 10 minutes. I'm happy to say that with tears shed, baby fed and umbrella purchased we had a great day at the beach. Later as I was looking around at all the perfect moms and families I saw a much different picture. Everyone was having struggles at one point or another, kids were running down the beach with parents chasing after them, throwing fits and sand all at once, and some of those "perfect moms" well, they were looking pretty frazzled. The more I thought about it, the more I laughed at myself for thinking that anyone ever has it all together. There is no such thing as a perfect mom, and if there was, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to be one. How boring would that be?
All of this is to say that when we arrived in Tahoe for our week of vacation I was working hard to have my act together but our first day at the beach almost sent me into a tailspin. I had already given myself a pep talk about bringing a newborn to the beach. I had told myself I was going to be ok breastfeeding in a baithing suit, the baby would be happy to hang out under the umbrella and he would survive if he got sand in his ears, eyes and mouth. Well, we got to the beach and quickly realized that we had forgotten the umbrella, beach chairs and sand toys. I was down by the water holding our spot while the Clarks, Matt and Susan carried stuff over from the car. The sand was scalding, the kids were begging for rafts, goggles, and buckets. The baby was crying because he wanted to eat, and I was standing there a little stunned. I finally got Beck out of his car seat and covered him with a blanket just as the lady next to us came over and asked if I wanted to borrow one of their towels to make shade for the baby. I must have looked really desperate trying to deal with 5 kids. Most of the stuff made it down to the beach and I took a chair onto the walkway in the shade to feed Beck. I was feeling pretty fragile at that point, wondering how I was going to get through the day when I started to look around the beach. I swear that every Mom there had it all together! Kids in matching bathing suits, bags of perfectly folded towels, UMBRELLAS, adorable sand toys and not to mention perfect bathing suits and cover ups that made them look as though they had never bore a child. The tears started flowing. Now, mind you I knew that I was having a postpartum moment. Jenn and Susan were already on their way to buy an umbrella across the street, the kids had their rafts and goggles and were thrilled, the guys were digging into the pre-made lunch and everyone was happy. But I just couldn't help but wallowing in the not-a-good-enough mom moment. My 'moment' lasted about 10 minutes. I'm happy to say that with tears shed, baby fed and umbrella purchased we had a great day at the beach. Later as I was looking around at all the perfect moms and families I saw a much different picture. Everyone was having struggles at one point or another, kids were running down the beach with parents chasing after them, throwing fits and sand all at once, and some of those "perfect moms" well, they were looking pretty frazzled. The more I thought about it, the more I laughed at myself for thinking that anyone ever has it all together. There is no such thing as a perfect mom, and if there was, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to be one. How boring would that be?
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Bodie
We spent the afternoon at Bodie State Historical Park. It is a true ghost town, amazing and very worthwhile to see. I was shocked at how many things were left behind and had so much fun imagining what life was like for the people who lived there. The kids loved it and had a great time looking through windows and at the old buildings. It made me miss our big trip last summer and traveling with Kathleen and her contagious enthusiasm. I know that having a baby has slowed us down this summer but I am ready to start planning our trip for next summer. Who's with me?
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Mammoth
We have been having so much fun in Mammoth! We have been relaxing, going, going, going! If anyone has ever "vacationed" with my Dad than you know that he doesn't like to just hang out. Every moment must be spent doing something, living!!! We have been hiking, swimming, and taken lot's of walks around town. We had a great time at the 4th of July parade, going on the zip line, riding the gondola (not my favorite thing, but I tried to be brave for my kids), tasting beer ( root beer for some of us) at Mammoth Brewing Co and eating a lot of ice cream. My parents have been spoiling the kids and my Dads favorite time of night is when he and Beck watch the recap of the Tour De France.
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